I just saw my daughter off on her first “grown-up” mission trip, as she calls it. She’s been on a mission trip with our family when we went with a team from our church years ago. She was much younger, and didn’t have very much responsibility on that trip. This time she is going with the college group from our church, and will be serving on one of five teams on this trip. This is the first time she has ever felt personally compelled to go and share her testimony from the moment she first heard of the trip. She assumed it would probably be a one on one situation, until she learned that the team leaders were giving opportunity to anyone who felt lead to share their testimony from the stage. After praying about it, she felt that’s what she is supposed to do.
To have full perspective on this, Elizabeth had Colitis four and a half years ago. Colitis is inflammation and infection in the lining of the colon. She was in children’s hospital in Shreveport, Louisiana for a week. Then she had it again six months later. She has been clear and healthy for several years now, and then here it came again a few weeks ago. I know what it’s like to be sick with Colitis since I had it twice before she did, and almost died both times. God has proven Himself faithful in all this. God knew she was going to be sick, and as a Mama I’m glad I had it first so that I could understand what she’s going through and truly be there for her in every way I can not only as her Mom, but as someone who has been there.
I have to admit I’ve had times of questioning her going on this trip. She is an adult, and she has a strong close relationship with Jesus Christ. Every time I wanted to say something like that I didn’t think she should go, I felt strongly in my spirit that I should keep that to myself and hand that over to God. I was really wrestling with it last week, and praying about it, and trying to understand God’s will in this, while trying to trust Him with Elizabeth, her health, and her going on this mission trip. It seemed I could hear Him just as plain as day in my spirit, reminding me of her feeling so compelled to go and tell others about Him in her life. I sensed Him further saying didn’t I believe His Word where He said that whatever work He has called us to He has already equipped us to do it. I had to say that I did on both accounts, because I do believe all of God’s Word. There was something like a heavy weight whooshing from my shoulders and from inside my spirit like He was lifting it away. I didn’t realize what a burden of worry I had carried till then. Praise Father God, He freed me. I felt assured He is taking care of her health, and everything she will need in order to do this.
This has been, and I’m sure will continue to be a faith walk for me. Every time I feel concerned, I take it to Jesus again, and pray, thanking Him for loving her, and taking care of her, and for Him giving her this faith experience. She will come back and never be the same. I look forward to hearing for weeks to come of her first mission trip without family there, and the adventures of ministering to others in Jesus’ name. I also look forward to the next event in her life in her walk with Jesus.
Be blessed, my friends.
2 thoughts on “This Mom’s Mixed Emotions; Walking This Faith Walk”
Cindy, you are such a good mom … loving and caring. You have set a great example for Elizabeth and placed her in God’s hands. God will protect her.
Thank you for your sweet words, Carole. I struggle like everyone else, but this has been one of those things definitely bigger than me. Just at the thought of saying I wasn’t sure she should go because of her health, the thought of being in between what God asked her to do, and her didn’t seem like a safe place at all. It was like I could hear Him reminding me of how compelled she was and that He had placed that in her spirit. The best thing I could do for her is place her totally in His hands and entrust her to Him…again. I’m convinced that God will for sure protect her. Thank you for your prayers. 🙂